The Weight Issue

The Weight Issue
Is it weird that I still tell people that “I just had a baby” when talking about my weight issues? I mean, she’s almost a year old. When do you stop using that excuse? I weigh approximately five pounds more than when I originally got pregnant with Hayden. I can’t even say that I’m having a hard time losing the last five pounds because I did lose it. Actually, I lost every ounce of the 30 pounds I put on plus an additional three. Yet, I found it totally necessary to eat every piece of junk food I could get my hands on in the months after giving birth. I think I was in amazement that I could actually lose weight while eating everything. It didn’t dawn on me at the time that it was probably nursing that caused this shift in the Earth to make me lose weight so quickly.
I have a million excuses for not going to the gym. One of my mommy group friends just joined my gym and I’m excited to go with her, yet when I look at my calendar, I just can’t figure out when… like I said, full of excuses. Would it kill me to get up an extra hour earlier than Hayden and go to the gym? Actually, it might. I’m not a morning person. (FULL of excuses). I mean, really, who wants to get out of the cozy warm bed in the morning to go to a stinky gym and sweat for an hour. My bed is soooo warm. I am sooo lazy.
I was doing well for a while. I even signed up and took a Pilates Reformer class. It was the perfect exercise for me. It didn’t involve much sweating. I felt great after class. Problem? Cost. Any “new age” exercise regime seems to come with a steep price tag. On the other hand though, you know what’s not that expensive? McDonalds. If I could go to McDonalds 3-4 times a week and lose weight, I’m sure that would be an exercise routine I could stick to.
Before I got pregnant, I was on Jenny Craig. Martha was my Jenny Craig advisor. She was skinny, so I figured she knew what to do with me. Wrong. She couldn’t even tell when I was lying to her about what I ate. What kind of Jenny Craig guru can’t tell a big fat liar? (No pun intended). I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. Once I got over the initial shock, a wave of joy came over me. Some people call their mothers/husbands/siblings to tell them the good news. I called Martha at Jenny Craig and quit on the spot. Then I jumped in the car and went and bought Cheetos and Oreo’s at Super Stop and Shop. True story.
I started meeting with a fabulous nutritionist. She was sweet. Encouraging. What she said made sense. She gave me all the tools I needed to understand why I eat. She understood that it’s emotional and mental more than physical. I did great with her. Lost 11 pounds and did it in a healthy, responsible way. As work became insanely busy, I had to take a break from meeting with her. Now, I still eat horribly, but at least I understand why I’m eating. It’s because I’m stressed, addicted to “the white stuff” (flour/sugar), and seeking comfort in food. The benefit to my encounter with her? I know exactly what I have to do to get my body back to a healthy state… Downfall? I really like cookies and potato chips.
I’ve battled weight my entire life. I’ve been super skinny and I’ve been the fat kid. I was nine years old when my parents started taking me to a nutritionist in NYC because my cholesterol level was in the low 300’s- nearly unheard of for children that age. I was put on my first diet that day. I can honestly say that I’ve been a “yo-yo” dieter since I was nine years old. You might think that my parents are overweight because it seems that every research article states that heavy children tend to be the result of heavy parents. Nope. Not me. My Mom is thin and beautiful. No one ever believes she’s my mom. They honestly think she’s my sister. She works out five times a week and she eats tons of veggies. Yet, I’m her kid.
I guess the point to this whole rambling today is that I’m overly concerned for Hayden’s health and weight. I know it’s insane to be worried about my eleven month olds eating habits, but I am. I just want to protect her from the battle I’ve had with eating my whole life. I try to only give her whole wheat breads. I make sure there’s ample protein in her diet. Not a single day will go by on my clock that she doesn’t have some veggies and fruits. (Even though I don’t touch the stuff)- Sigh. Here’s the biggest problem. I know deep down in my heart that she needs me to be a role model for her. And with my proven failure track record, I don’t know if I can provide that for her. So, here’s my pledge: Starting tomorrow morning, I will eat healthier. I will drink water and not just coffee/vodka/wine. And I will make Danielle drag my lazy butt to the gym. Just not before 10 am. I’m counting on you ladies too to keep me on track.