Vacation with Hayden

Vacation with Hayden
I normally don’t encourage Hayden’s fears. I actually do everything in my power to make her confront them. All summer she’s had a huge fear of sand. Instead of making her conquer this fear, I encouraged it. I figured the few times a year I get to relax on a beach, I would like her to feel as though she can’t leave the blanket. This would make it easier for me to relax and not worry about her running off. I spent all summer screaming the minute she put her foot in the sand. I would calmly explain to her that the sand is very hot and if she touched it, she would most likely burn to death. Of course, she has no idea what I’m saying, since the only thing she knows that is hot is Grandma’s coffee and her dinner- nevertheless, it worked. She would cry in hysterics whenever a piece of sand would touch her. Mission accomplished. I also found it amusing when she would try to blow on the sand to “cool it off” like we cool off her chicken nuggets.
The first day of vacation was my 30th birthday. We had driven down the night before while Hayden slept in her car seat. We knew it would have been a death wish to travel that distance to Ocean City, Maryland while she was awake. We were almost there as the car’s clock read midnight. Paul reached over to give me a kiss and to say Happy Birthday and fittingly Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry” came on the radio. I held it together. I’m not so sure what my fear was about turning 30, but it felt so… well, so old. I, of course, know that 30 is not old- but explain that to 21 year olds everywhere who are out partying without responsibility. In my mind, I’m still that partying college girl- and then I realize I haven’t been an undergrad in over eight years and I can barely stay up past midnight. Honestly, where did the years go and where did the pounds come from?
Anyway, it’s hard to be depressed on your 30th birthday when you’re on vacation with your beautiful family and most of your closest friends have made the trip as well just to help you celebrate. I enjoyed a perfect day at the beach while Hayden stayed on her blanket island paralyzed in fear and I lounged in my chair. Of course, she got me back by being a complete monster during dinner. Luckily, a few martini’s and a bottle of wine was enough to make the event comical. A few of my friends who do not have children seemed terrified- The ones who have children didn’t blink an eye.
The next day at the beach, my fears came true. As I sat in my lounge chair reading a book (a book! Can you believe I could actually read a book! Not a magazine- Not a billboard but a full- fledged adult sized book!!) Hayden became brave. She had been eyeing the 37,000 other children at the beach realizing that they were not frying to death by going in the sand. And much to her surprise, they seemed to be having fun in this volcano sand. I did everything in my power to make her believe she could not get off the blanket, but just like everything else in Hayden’s world, she did not care what I had to say. I sighed and watched. I knew this would be inevitable, but really thought I could get away with this until next summer. It took her exactly two minutes to feel the sand under her feet before she began to run. And guess what? Within the next hour, she was obsessed with going in the ocean, splashing and pouring wet sand all over her hair and body. Game Over.
I would like to interrupt this blog post with a quick side story… There was a family set up in front of us- A young looking mother alone with FOUR children. To me, you have to be some sort of Superwoman to be able to have four kids. I can barely cope with one. Anyway, all of a sudden it dawned on this group that their five year old son/brother was missing. I could see the worry in my husband and our friend’s eyes. My eyes immediately filled with tears as I imagined what she must be feeling that her little one had wandered off. The guys started scanning the beach for the kid, the two sisters were in tears screaming his name- but the mother- Yes, the mother is the one who surprised me the most. She calmly walked back to her blanket and started rummaging through her bag. I assumed she was looking for a cell phone to call someone for help (at this time, every life guard had been notified and everyone was on high alert) but it wasn’t her cell she was looking for. She yelled at the older daughters to stay put while she walked up the beach and she slowly lit her cigarette. Now, I am not a judgmental person. As a matter of fact, I was an “occasional” smoker for a couple years in my early 20’s (when I was young and cool, remember?) but as a mother, if my five year old had just gone missing amongst thousands and thousands of people, I wouldn’t light a cigarette. But that’s just me.
They found the kid- He had wandered to the boardwalk and was located at 14th Street. We were set up at 5th Street. He had made it nine blocks and onto the boardwalk, by himself. I will not talk smack about this Mother but in the famous words of Forrest Gump, “and that’s all I’ve got to say about that”.
Back to Hayden.
We went to a lot of the rides on the pier. Imagine my surprise when Hayden ran up to a ride that had a bunch of cars that drive around in circles (you know, those old school ones that have the giant umbrella over the whole thing…) and she was screaming and shaking the bars that she wanted to go on. That’s when I realized that she was taller than the “You must be this tall to ride” Pirate. My heart skipped a beat. My baby was tall enough to ride on the ride alone. I stood there for a good five minutes while she pleaded to go on. Finally, the conductor looked at me and said “Maam, you can stand there all night for all I care, but are you going to let your child ride or not?”- I went to go buy some tickets. When I returned, Hayden had not moved and she was just about near hysterical that she had to go on the ride. I went in with her, buckled her in and she immediately burst into tears when she realized that she had to go alone. So, of course, I crammed my huge tush into the back seat of her red convertible and I sat behind her while she drove me around in circles with a big ‘ol smile on her face. I felt sick. Mostly because we had a few cocktails with dinner and this stupid ride was spinning me in circles but also because this was yet another moment where my little baby wasn’t such a little baby anymore.
On the way home, we broke up the trip with a stop in Atlantic City for the night. We figured that Hayden had behaved “enough” to go to a decent restaurant and we went to Patsy’s in the Hilton. Hayden was the only child and everyone seemed to be there on a romantic date. They hid us in a corner which was fine with me. Hayden realized that this wasn’t a kid friendly place and immediately started screaming. Not crying screaming, just her normal dolphin scream that has no real meaning besides to aggravate and horrify everyone surrounding her. Our waitress was kind enough, but when Hayden started to wipe her dirty tomato sauce hands on the walls (I swear I did everything in my power to stop her) she seemed to be ready for us to go. Needless to say, we were not offered the option to have dessert which was fine with Paul and I. We had managed to drink our cocktails and our bottle of wine in record time and were ready to get out of there. We left that waitress the biggest tip she would see that night, I’m sure. Our little way of saying “We’re sorry”- We headed to the boardwalk to let her let out some steam. She was in her glory running around and Paul and I just stayed close. She approached three huge men who were I would guess were partaking in some illegal activities and she began to point her finger at them and yell. I scooped her up and apologized, to my surprise they just smiled.
You should have seen her dance on the boardwalk outside an outdoor club- She had better moves than any of those 21 year olds. I’ve named one move “the airplane” and it basically involves spinning around in circles with your arms out while screaming “Weeee….” Take that Beyonce.
Hayden made sure to put Orange in the hotel safe every time we left the hotel room. For safe keeping of course. She also became more obsessed with “buttons” (which she repeats endlessly) and has to push everyone she sees. Not the best situation when we were on the 21st floor of the Hilton hotel in AC- Overall, it was a great trip with great friends. The best part? We rented a Pontoon boat and the rocking put all our kids to sleep… We sat there on the open water with cold Corona’s and enjoyed the silence… Although temporary, it was beautiful. Beautiful, sweet, silence.