Professional Singer
There are a lot of things that I’m really good at… Selling houses, being the loudest person in the room, and finding the perfect excuse to order dessert and to avoid the gym (just to name a few)- but one thing that I have never been good at is singing. I remember in second grade I was cast to be one of the two wicked step sisters in Cinderella. I was thrilled to have gotten the part but thought it was odd that all the main people in the play got to sing solo’s but I didn’t. What I have since realized is that they were protecting me from the obvious backlash of disgust and teasing that would have ensued if I had been allowed to sing. I’ve frequently thought about auditioning for American Idol so that I could get my own record deal similar to the one that the Asian kid got that sang the Ricky Martin song… She bangs… She bangs…
Early on I began singing to Hayden. Out of pure desperation, of course. I figured if the child wouldn’t sleep, I would torture her with my own renditions of anything Aerosmith. Much to my shock, she enjoyed my classic rock lullabies and would fall asleep. Amazing. I became more eager to sing to the little diva. In the car, I would sing lots of Madonna and Janet Jackson. She would clap and dance. I’ve begun to think that everyone is wrong all these years and the truth is that I’m an excellent singer. I mean, if an 18 month old things I’m a pro- I obviously must be. Now, I put soul into the songs we sing. You’ve never seen a performance like when I belt out “Itsy Bitsy Spider”. It’s a Broadway production. I’ve begun to choreograph dances to old time favorites like “The Wheel’s on the Bus” because I’m now under the impression that Hayden and I will become some famous mother daughter singing team. Similar to those Judd people minus anything country sounding.
Now that Hayden is becoming a chatter box, she also thinks she’s an excellent singer. She will bust into song at almost any time. At first it was cute. We’d be at Walmart and all of a sudden she’s start singing “E G P”- (her version of the Alphabet Song). Last weekend we had a small problem. We were at a memorial service for my Great Aunt when the priest sang out “Alleluia… Alleluia…” followed by a moment of silence for prayers. Hayden found this to be the perfect time to sing a favorite tune of her own… “E… I… E… I…O”. Her voice rang out loudly through the high ceilings of the church. Many people thought it was hysterical. Me, not so much.
But you know what else I’ve realized? She doesn’t really have that great of a singing voice. I mean, it’s okay for an 18 month old- but nothing like what Christina Aguilera sounded liked in old videos I saw of her on one of those VH1 documentaries. I will continue to bring her to her music classes and further explore our mother daughter capabilities, but I think I better go back to my original plan of becoming a mother daughter Trapeze swinging team. Ringling Bros. is always hiring.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Disappearing Items
Disappearing Items…
Why Hayden finds the need to hide things is beyond me. It’s one thing to destroy items, but to secretly place them in a spot that I may or may not ever recover the item is far worse. At least I know that once she destroys an item that it’s gone forever. Then I have the decision to replace it or simply let it become a casualty of her recklessness. I used to find it rather amusing when I would go to sweep under the couch and find a credit card that I had long reported stolen months ago, but as more important things begin to disappear, my patience grows thin.
I think I may have written once about the case of the disappearing Swedish sneakers- I had bought Hayden these awesome summer sneakers on Zappos.com. I totally loved them and convinced myself that they were worth the high price tag. One day, they disappeared. Long story short- My mother accused me of throwing the shoes out by accident because “that’s exactly something you would do”- My husband blamed me for being a “hot mess and losing them”. No one accused the 14 month old. I went online and bought another pair of similar shoes, minus the high price tag. They were not nearly as cute but I reasoned that I could not spend that amount of money twice. Didn’t matter though because a couple days after the new ones arrived, the old ones made an appearance… at the bottom of Hayden’s hamper. Hayden loves to “put things away” and I had no doubt she also put her shoes away- at the bottom of her hamper.
Anyway, I have this coupon holder that I got at Old Navy. It’s cute. It says “Coupon Queen” on the front and is an accordion type holder that holds all my coupons. I love coupons. As I was re-organizing my purse, I made the decision that I should keep all my gift cards with my coupons. That seemed logical. What I didn’t plan was that Hayden was going to somehow get a hold of my coupon holder and lose it and/or hide it. It’s been one month and no sign of it. I’ve searched high and low. I had over $300 in gift cards that I was stocking up to purchase Hayden new fall clothes. Not to mention my coupon for the free gallon of milk at Stop and Shop that I was excited to finally use.
During the endless search, I did manage to find some other items that I hadn’t even realized were missing. These items included: my old sunglasses in a pasta pot in the kitchen, two bracelets in our fireplace, three crayons in my Steve Madden heels and a pair of Hayden’s shorts hidden behind a plant in the dining room. She’s going to be an awesome “hide and seeker”.
So, I continue to pray to St. Anthony for the return of my coupons and gift cards even though I have a feeling it may be hidden behind the bread racks at Costco and I will never find it. I guess it could be worse- One of my best girlfriends also has a hider- He hid the cable card that goes into the cable box. They couldn’t watch TV for a week. To me, that would be emotionally devastating.
Why Hayden finds the need to hide things is beyond me. It’s one thing to destroy items, but to secretly place them in a spot that I may or may not ever recover the item is far worse. At least I know that once she destroys an item that it’s gone forever. Then I have the decision to replace it or simply let it become a casualty of her recklessness. I used to find it rather amusing when I would go to sweep under the couch and find a credit card that I had long reported stolen months ago, but as more important things begin to disappear, my patience grows thin.
I think I may have written once about the case of the disappearing Swedish sneakers- I had bought Hayden these awesome summer sneakers on Zappos.com. I totally loved them and convinced myself that they were worth the high price tag. One day, they disappeared. Long story short- My mother accused me of throwing the shoes out by accident because “that’s exactly something you would do”- My husband blamed me for being a “hot mess and losing them”. No one accused the 14 month old. I went online and bought another pair of similar shoes, minus the high price tag. They were not nearly as cute but I reasoned that I could not spend that amount of money twice. Didn’t matter though because a couple days after the new ones arrived, the old ones made an appearance… at the bottom of Hayden’s hamper. Hayden loves to “put things away” and I had no doubt she also put her shoes away- at the bottom of her hamper.
Anyway, I have this coupon holder that I got at Old Navy. It’s cute. It says “Coupon Queen” on the front and is an accordion type holder that holds all my coupons. I love coupons. As I was re-organizing my purse, I made the decision that I should keep all my gift cards with my coupons. That seemed logical. What I didn’t plan was that Hayden was going to somehow get a hold of my coupon holder and lose it and/or hide it. It’s been one month and no sign of it. I’ve searched high and low. I had over $300 in gift cards that I was stocking up to purchase Hayden new fall clothes. Not to mention my coupon for the free gallon of milk at Stop and Shop that I was excited to finally use.
During the endless search, I did manage to find some other items that I hadn’t even realized were missing. These items included: my old sunglasses in a pasta pot in the kitchen, two bracelets in our fireplace, three crayons in my Steve Madden heels and a pair of Hayden’s shorts hidden behind a plant in the dining room. She’s going to be an awesome “hide and seeker”.
So, I continue to pray to St. Anthony for the return of my coupons and gift cards even though I have a feeling it may be hidden behind the bread racks at Costco and I will never find it. I guess it could be worse- One of my best girlfriends also has a hider- He hid the cable card that goes into the cable box. They couldn’t watch TV for a week. To me, that would be emotionally devastating.
Vacation with Hayden
Vacation with Hayden
I normally don’t encourage Hayden’s fears. I actually do everything in my power to make her confront them. All summer she’s had a huge fear of sand. Instead of making her conquer this fear, I encouraged it. I figured the few times a year I get to relax on a beach, I would like her to feel as though she can’t leave the blanket. This would make it easier for me to relax and not worry about her running off. I spent all summer screaming the minute she put her foot in the sand. I would calmly explain to her that the sand is very hot and if she touched it, she would most likely burn to death. Of course, she has no idea what I’m saying, since the only thing she knows that is hot is Grandma’s coffee and her dinner- nevertheless, it worked. She would cry in hysterics whenever a piece of sand would touch her. Mission accomplished. I also found it amusing when she would try to blow on the sand to “cool it off” like we cool off her chicken nuggets.
The first day of vacation was my 30th birthday. We had driven down the night before while Hayden slept in her car seat. We knew it would have been a death wish to travel that distance to Ocean City, Maryland while she was awake. We were almost there as the car’s clock read midnight. Paul reached over to give me a kiss and to say Happy Birthday and fittingly Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry” came on the radio. I held it together. I’m not so sure what my fear was about turning 30, but it felt so… well, so old. I, of course, know that 30 is not old- but explain that to 21 year olds everywhere who are out partying without responsibility. In my mind, I’m still that partying college girl- and then I realize I haven’t been an undergrad in over eight years and I can barely stay up past midnight. Honestly, where did the years go and where did the pounds come from?
Anyway, it’s hard to be depressed on your 30th birthday when you’re on vacation with your beautiful family and most of your closest friends have made the trip as well just to help you celebrate. I enjoyed a perfect day at the beach while Hayden stayed on her blanket island paralyzed in fear and I lounged in my chair. Of course, she got me back by being a complete monster during dinner. Luckily, a few martini’s and a bottle of wine was enough to make the event comical. A few of my friends who do not have children seemed terrified- The ones who have children didn’t blink an eye.
The next day at the beach, my fears came true. As I sat in my lounge chair reading a book (a book! Can you believe I could actually read a book! Not a magazine- Not a billboard but a full- fledged adult sized book!!) Hayden became brave. She had been eyeing the 37,000 other children at the beach realizing that they were not frying to death by going in the sand. And much to her surprise, they seemed to be having fun in this volcano sand. I did everything in my power to make her believe she could not get off the blanket, but just like everything else in Hayden’s world, she did not care what I had to say. I sighed and watched. I knew this would be inevitable, but really thought I could get away with this until next summer. It took her exactly two minutes to feel the sand under her feet before she began to run. And guess what? Within the next hour, she was obsessed with going in the ocean, splashing and pouring wet sand all over her hair and body. Game Over.
I would like to interrupt this blog post with a quick side story… There was a family set up in front of us- A young looking mother alone with FOUR children. To me, you have to be some sort of Superwoman to be able to have four kids. I can barely cope with one. Anyway, all of a sudden it dawned on this group that their five year old son/brother was missing. I could see the worry in my husband and our friend’s eyes. My eyes immediately filled with tears as I imagined what she must be feeling that her little one had wandered off. The guys started scanning the beach for the kid, the two sisters were in tears screaming his name- but the mother- Yes, the mother is the one who surprised me the most. She calmly walked back to her blanket and started rummaging through her bag. I assumed she was looking for a cell phone to call someone for help (at this time, every life guard had been notified and everyone was on high alert) but it wasn’t her cell she was looking for. She yelled at the older daughters to stay put while she walked up the beach and she slowly lit her cigarette. Now, I am not a judgmental person. As a matter of fact, I was an “occasional” smoker for a couple years in my early 20’s (when I was young and cool, remember?) but as a mother, if my five year old had just gone missing amongst thousands and thousands of people, I wouldn’t light a cigarette. But that’s just me.
They found the kid- He had wandered to the boardwalk and was located at 14th Street. We were set up at 5th Street. He had made it nine blocks and onto the boardwalk, by himself. I will not talk smack about this Mother but in the famous words of Forrest Gump, “and that’s all I’ve got to say about that”.
Back to Hayden.
We went to a lot of the rides on the pier. Imagine my surprise when Hayden ran up to a ride that had a bunch of cars that drive around in circles (you know, those old school ones that have the giant umbrella over the whole thing…) and she was screaming and shaking the bars that she wanted to go on. That’s when I realized that she was taller than the “You must be this tall to ride” Pirate. My heart skipped a beat. My baby was tall enough to ride on the ride alone. I stood there for a good five minutes while she pleaded to go on. Finally, the conductor looked at me and said “Maam, you can stand there all night for all I care, but are you going to let your child ride or not?”- I went to go buy some tickets. When I returned, Hayden had not moved and she was just about near hysterical that she had to go on the ride. I went in with her, buckled her in and she immediately burst into tears when she realized that she had to go alone. So, of course, I crammed my huge tush into the back seat of her red convertible and I sat behind her while she drove me around in circles with a big ‘ol smile on her face. I felt sick. Mostly because we had a few cocktails with dinner and this stupid ride was spinning me in circles but also because this was yet another moment where my little baby wasn’t such a little baby anymore.
On the way home, we broke up the trip with a stop in Atlantic City for the night. We figured that Hayden had behaved “enough” to go to a decent restaurant and we went to Patsy’s in the Hilton. Hayden was the only child and everyone seemed to be there on a romantic date. They hid us in a corner which was fine with me. Hayden realized that this wasn’t a kid friendly place and immediately started screaming. Not crying screaming, just her normal dolphin scream that has no real meaning besides to aggravate and horrify everyone surrounding her. Our waitress was kind enough, but when Hayden started to wipe her dirty tomato sauce hands on the walls (I swear I did everything in my power to stop her) she seemed to be ready for us to go. Needless to say, we were not offered the option to have dessert which was fine with Paul and I. We had managed to drink our cocktails and our bottle of wine in record time and were ready to get out of there. We left that waitress the biggest tip she would see that night, I’m sure. Our little way of saying “We’re sorry”- We headed to the boardwalk to let her let out some steam. She was in her glory running around and Paul and I just stayed close. She approached three huge men who were I would guess were partaking in some illegal activities and she began to point her finger at them and yell. I scooped her up and apologized, to my surprise they just smiled.
You should have seen her dance on the boardwalk outside an outdoor club- She had better moves than any of those 21 year olds. I’ve named one move “the airplane” and it basically involves spinning around in circles with your arms out while screaming “Weeee….” Take that Beyonce.
Hayden made sure to put Orange in the hotel safe every time we left the hotel room. For safe keeping of course. She also became more obsessed with “buttons” (which she repeats endlessly) and has to push everyone she sees. Not the best situation when we were on the 21st floor of the Hilton hotel in AC- Overall, it was a great trip with great friends. The best part? We rented a Pontoon boat and the rocking put all our kids to sleep… We sat there on the open water with cold Corona’s and enjoyed the silence… Although temporary, it was beautiful. Beautiful, sweet, silence.
I normally don’t encourage Hayden’s fears. I actually do everything in my power to make her confront them. All summer she’s had a huge fear of sand. Instead of making her conquer this fear, I encouraged it. I figured the few times a year I get to relax on a beach, I would like her to feel as though she can’t leave the blanket. This would make it easier for me to relax and not worry about her running off. I spent all summer screaming the minute she put her foot in the sand. I would calmly explain to her that the sand is very hot and if she touched it, she would most likely burn to death. Of course, she has no idea what I’m saying, since the only thing she knows that is hot is Grandma’s coffee and her dinner- nevertheless, it worked. She would cry in hysterics whenever a piece of sand would touch her. Mission accomplished. I also found it amusing when she would try to blow on the sand to “cool it off” like we cool off her chicken nuggets.
The first day of vacation was my 30th birthday. We had driven down the night before while Hayden slept in her car seat. We knew it would have been a death wish to travel that distance to Ocean City, Maryland while she was awake. We were almost there as the car’s clock read midnight. Paul reached over to give me a kiss and to say Happy Birthday and fittingly Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry” came on the radio. I held it together. I’m not so sure what my fear was about turning 30, but it felt so… well, so old. I, of course, know that 30 is not old- but explain that to 21 year olds everywhere who are out partying without responsibility. In my mind, I’m still that partying college girl- and then I realize I haven’t been an undergrad in over eight years and I can barely stay up past midnight. Honestly, where did the years go and where did the pounds come from?
Anyway, it’s hard to be depressed on your 30th birthday when you’re on vacation with your beautiful family and most of your closest friends have made the trip as well just to help you celebrate. I enjoyed a perfect day at the beach while Hayden stayed on her blanket island paralyzed in fear and I lounged in my chair. Of course, she got me back by being a complete monster during dinner. Luckily, a few martini’s and a bottle of wine was enough to make the event comical. A few of my friends who do not have children seemed terrified- The ones who have children didn’t blink an eye.
The next day at the beach, my fears came true. As I sat in my lounge chair reading a book (a book! Can you believe I could actually read a book! Not a magazine- Not a billboard but a full- fledged adult sized book!!) Hayden became brave. She had been eyeing the 37,000 other children at the beach realizing that they were not frying to death by going in the sand. And much to her surprise, they seemed to be having fun in this volcano sand. I did everything in my power to make her believe she could not get off the blanket, but just like everything else in Hayden’s world, she did not care what I had to say. I sighed and watched. I knew this would be inevitable, but really thought I could get away with this until next summer. It took her exactly two minutes to feel the sand under her feet before she began to run. And guess what? Within the next hour, she was obsessed with going in the ocean, splashing and pouring wet sand all over her hair and body. Game Over.
I would like to interrupt this blog post with a quick side story… There was a family set up in front of us- A young looking mother alone with FOUR children. To me, you have to be some sort of Superwoman to be able to have four kids. I can barely cope with one. Anyway, all of a sudden it dawned on this group that their five year old son/brother was missing. I could see the worry in my husband and our friend’s eyes. My eyes immediately filled with tears as I imagined what she must be feeling that her little one had wandered off. The guys started scanning the beach for the kid, the two sisters were in tears screaming his name- but the mother- Yes, the mother is the one who surprised me the most. She calmly walked back to her blanket and started rummaging through her bag. I assumed she was looking for a cell phone to call someone for help (at this time, every life guard had been notified and everyone was on high alert) but it wasn’t her cell she was looking for. She yelled at the older daughters to stay put while she walked up the beach and she slowly lit her cigarette. Now, I am not a judgmental person. As a matter of fact, I was an “occasional” smoker for a couple years in my early 20’s (when I was young and cool, remember?) but as a mother, if my five year old had just gone missing amongst thousands and thousands of people, I wouldn’t light a cigarette. But that’s just me.
They found the kid- He had wandered to the boardwalk and was located at 14th Street. We were set up at 5th Street. He had made it nine blocks and onto the boardwalk, by himself. I will not talk smack about this Mother but in the famous words of Forrest Gump, “and that’s all I’ve got to say about that”.
Back to Hayden.
We went to a lot of the rides on the pier. Imagine my surprise when Hayden ran up to a ride that had a bunch of cars that drive around in circles (you know, those old school ones that have the giant umbrella over the whole thing…) and she was screaming and shaking the bars that she wanted to go on. That’s when I realized that she was taller than the “You must be this tall to ride” Pirate. My heart skipped a beat. My baby was tall enough to ride on the ride alone. I stood there for a good five minutes while she pleaded to go on. Finally, the conductor looked at me and said “Maam, you can stand there all night for all I care, but are you going to let your child ride or not?”- I went to go buy some tickets. When I returned, Hayden had not moved and she was just about near hysterical that she had to go on the ride. I went in with her, buckled her in and she immediately burst into tears when she realized that she had to go alone. So, of course, I crammed my huge tush into the back seat of her red convertible and I sat behind her while she drove me around in circles with a big ‘ol smile on her face. I felt sick. Mostly because we had a few cocktails with dinner and this stupid ride was spinning me in circles but also because this was yet another moment where my little baby wasn’t such a little baby anymore.
On the way home, we broke up the trip with a stop in Atlantic City for the night. We figured that Hayden had behaved “enough” to go to a decent restaurant and we went to Patsy’s in the Hilton. Hayden was the only child and everyone seemed to be there on a romantic date. They hid us in a corner which was fine with me. Hayden realized that this wasn’t a kid friendly place and immediately started screaming. Not crying screaming, just her normal dolphin scream that has no real meaning besides to aggravate and horrify everyone surrounding her. Our waitress was kind enough, but when Hayden started to wipe her dirty tomato sauce hands on the walls (I swear I did everything in my power to stop her) she seemed to be ready for us to go. Needless to say, we were not offered the option to have dessert which was fine with Paul and I. We had managed to drink our cocktails and our bottle of wine in record time and were ready to get out of there. We left that waitress the biggest tip she would see that night, I’m sure. Our little way of saying “We’re sorry”- We headed to the boardwalk to let her let out some steam. She was in her glory running around and Paul and I just stayed close. She approached three huge men who were I would guess were partaking in some illegal activities and she began to point her finger at them and yell. I scooped her up and apologized, to my surprise they just smiled.
You should have seen her dance on the boardwalk outside an outdoor club- She had better moves than any of those 21 year olds. I’ve named one move “the airplane” and it basically involves spinning around in circles with your arms out while screaming “Weeee….” Take that Beyonce.
Hayden made sure to put Orange in the hotel safe every time we left the hotel room. For safe keeping of course. She also became more obsessed with “buttons” (which she repeats endlessly) and has to push everyone she sees. Not the best situation when we were on the 21st floor of the Hilton hotel in AC- Overall, it was a great trip with great friends. The best part? We rented a Pontoon boat and the rocking put all our kids to sleep… We sat there on the open water with cold Corona’s and enjoyed the silence… Although temporary, it was beautiful. Beautiful, sweet, silence.
Hayden the Destroyer
Hayden the Destroyer
There’s a bar in White Plains called “The Brazen Fox” and I was never quite sure what that was referring to. I couldn’t understand why a bar would be called something like that. After the last few days, I officially consider Hayden a “Brazen Fox”- She is courageous in her mischief and intent on destroying all that is good.
Well, I guess that’s a pretty bold statement- but it sure feels like that this week. It seems to be one thing after another. She becomes so fixated on a task that she will find a way to succeed at whatever that task may be. She learned that in Paul’s closet there is a cup that he throws his spare change into at the end of the day. Three of four times a year I will roll it up and bring it to the bank. Needless to say, that change adds up. She became insistent that she had to play with the coins. Obviously, I don’t want the kid to choke or touch dirty money- so I wasn’t happy with this display of eagerness. We closed the closet tightly, blockaded the doors with a heavy box and our laundry hamper assuming that would be enough to make her move on to the next impossible task. As I was in the bathroom, it was very quiet in our room. I’ve come to learn that quiet is never, ever good. (Unless, of course, if Elmo is on, then no one is allowed to speak) I walked out the bathroom and Hayden was gone. I mean, she was no where. I walked around the second floor shouting “Hayden!”- No answer, no noise. I started getting nervous- checked her bathroom, behind the rocker, under the crib, under our bed, in the corners, no Hayden. Then I heard the faint noise… what was that noise? It was the sound of someone playing with change. I stared at the closet door- No… How could she possibly? I quietly walked to the closet, removed the hamper, removed the box and opened the door. Sure enough, there sat Hayden in the corner playing with the change. She immediately gave me the “stank eye” and quickly grabbed a cup full of pennies and poured it all over her body. I grabbed her and the tantrum ensued. I’ve become quite numb to her screaming and throwing herself on the floor. I was out with my cousin and her daughter the other day and she couldn’t believe the dolphin screams that were coming from this child. She was even more shocked that it didn’t seem to phase me. Of course not, I’m used to it. I have no idea how she got in the closet. I don’t know how she closed the door behind her to hide. Paul and I realized… we needed to step up our game. We have a true handful to raise.
Then there was yesterday- I, again, was in the bathroom- Paul was downstairs getting ready to leave for work. I heard a loud crash followed by Paul screaming. He must have scared the hell out of her because she came running into my arms “Anna!” I corrected her for the millionth time “I’m Mommy”- She didn’t care, she knew she was in trouble. I went to survey the damage. She had collected all the remote controls from upstairs, stood at the top of the stairs and thrown them through the guardrails down to the first floor… aiming directly for our entrance table piece and shattering our crystal candle holders. Part of me was relieved that it had missed our Lladro statue- a beautiful piece that my parents had gotten us for our wedding- Part of me was amused that she had the know how and the planning capacity to do this. After a lecture- and five minutes in time out- we went about our day. Paul yelled on his way out “put all the valuables in storage”- I giggled to myself thinking that would take about three minutes. Valuables? Yeah, right. We have tons of those. Another minute later while I was getting dressed I heard a repeating thud… this time she had learned that if she stuck her arm far out in between the iron railing, she could reach the chandelier and grab it. She was shaking it and clanking it against the railing. Crap, I thought. How am I going to put our lighting fixtures into storage?
I’m kind of laid back when it comes to all of this stuff… Sure, it’s annoying- but she’s a kid. What am I going to do? She needs to learn the difference between right and wrong and she will by trial and error.
There’s a bar in White Plains called “The Brazen Fox” and I was never quite sure what that was referring to. I couldn’t understand why a bar would be called something like that. After the last few days, I officially consider Hayden a “Brazen Fox”- She is courageous in her mischief and intent on destroying all that is good.
Well, I guess that’s a pretty bold statement- but it sure feels like that this week. It seems to be one thing after another. She becomes so fixated on a task that she will find a way to succeed at whatever that task may be. She learned that in Paul’s closet there is a cup that he throws his spare change into at the end of the day. Three of four times a year I will roll it up and bring it to the bank. Needless to say, that change adds up. She became insistent that she had to play with the coins. Obviously, I don’t want the kid to choke or touch dirty money- so I wasn’t happy with this display of eagerness. We closed the closet tightly, blockaded the doors with a heavy box and our laundry hamper assuming that would be enough to make her move on to the next impossible task. As I was in the bathroom, it was very quiet in our room. I’ve come to learn that quiet is never, ever good. (Unless, of course, if Elmo is on, then no one is allowed to speak) I walked out the bathroom and Hayden was gone. I mean, she was no where. I walked around the second floor shouting “Hayden!”- No answer, no noise. I started getting nervous- checked her bathroom, behind the rocker, under the crib, under our bed, in the corners, no Hayden. Then I heard the faint noise… what was that noise? It was the sound of someone playing with change. I stared at the closet door- No… How could she possibly? I quietly walked to the closet, removed the hamper, removed the box and opened the door. Sure enough, there sat Hayden in the corner playing with the change. She immediately gave me the “stank eye” and quickly grabbed a cup full of pennies and poured it all over her body. I grabbed her and the tantrum ensued. I’ve become quite numb to her screaming and throwing herself on the floor. I was out with my cousin and her daughter the other day and she couldn’t believe the dolphin screams that were coming from this child. She was even more shocked that it didn’t seem to phase me. Of course not, I’m used to it. I have no idea how she got in the closet. I don’t know how she closed the door behind her to hide. Paul and I realized… we needed to step up our game. We have a true handful to raise.
Then there was yesterday- I, again, was in the bathroom- Paul was downstairs getting ready to leave for work. I heard a loud crash followed by Paul screaming. He must have scared the hell out of her because she came running into my arms “Anna!” I corrected her for the millionth time “I’m Mommy”- She didn’t care, she knew she was in trouble. I went to survey the damage. She had collected all the remote controls from upstairs, stood at the top of the stairs and thrown them through the guardrails down to the first floor… aiming directly for our entrance table piece and shattering our crystal candle holders. Part of me was relieved that it had missed our Lladro statue- a beautiful piece that my parents had gotten us for our wedding- Part of me was amused that she had the know how and the planning capacity to do this. After a lecture- and five minutes in time out- we went about our day. Paul yelled on his way out “put all the valuables in storage”- I giggled to myself thinking that would take about three minutes. Valuables? Yeah, right. We have tons of those. Another minute later while I was getting dressed I heard a repeating thud… this time she had learned that if she stuck her arm far out in between the iron railing, she could reach the chandelier and grab it. She was shaking it and clanking it against the railing. Crap, I thought. How am I going to put our lighting fixtures into storage?
I’m kind of laid back when it comes to all of this stuff… Sure, it’s annoying- but she’s a kid. What am I going to do? She needs to learn the difference between right and wrong and she will by trial and error.
Oh how the tables have turned...
Oh how the tables have turned…
The whole time Hayden was sick, I prayed I could take her pain away- that it could be me going through her pain. Well, this week I have a stinky cold. I’ve been healthy for so long that I forgot how annoying it can be to get sick. My runny nose just drips and drips… very attractive, I think. My husband is very supportive. He keeps looking at me in disgust and saying that I better not get him sick. He’s very sympathetic. I don’t think anything is more horrible than getting a cold in the summer. It’s a total oxymoron. When Hayden was sick for those awful two weeks, I did everything in my power to comfort her. And even though this stupid cold is nothing like what my little diva went through, it’s amazing how the tables have turned. I just cuddled with her for an hour today while she watched her cartoons. (and yes, I am one of those Mom’s who let their kids watch TV and I’m not afraid to admit it.) Normally, during TV time, she’s running around, playing with her toys while I sit on the couch with my laptop in my lap doing work. Today, I think she knew that Mommy needed her. And I just sat there holding her and she comforted me. Funny how that works.
Anyway, we’ve been working really hard this past week with her “issue” with my name. She keeps calling me “Anna”. It’s not cool. I mean, it’s cute, but not cool. I’ve noticed she only does it when she wants my attention right away. So, if we’re playing, I’m “Mama” but if I’m on the phone, working on the computer, or doing something that doesn’t involve her, she calls “Anna” (in my Mother’s Italian accent, no less)- I’m sure she picked it up from my Mom. She listens to her call me that and that’s how she gets my attention. We have a routine now. When she calls me Anna, I point to myself and say “Mommy”- and then she points to herself and calls herself “Mommy”. Sigh. It’s a work in progress. She has no problem with “Daddy” though- or “Nonna and Nonno” (Italian for Grandma and Grandpa)…
I feel like my baby isn’t a baby anymore. My sister was visiting from California and she said “Hayden’s like a full blown kid”. And I realized that it was true. She’s a little person. She’s always had an attitude but now it’s in full blown diva mode. My Mom said to me “She’s becoming a little monster”- I’m sure it has nothing to do with the amount of spoiling that happens at Grandma’s house. Today we were at Stepping Stones Children’s Museum. She loves the water area. She refuses to wear the water smock that all the children wear. Today, I was determined to get it on her. She had on a nice outfit and I didn’t want it soaking wet. I grabbed her, strapped her into the smock while she squirmed and squealed- and she broke free and ran away. I smiled in my small triumph… until I watched her rip the smock off of her and literally throw in on the floor. She waddled her little self right over to the water and began to soak herself. I looked around, not one single other child had a problem with the smock.
This seems to be an ongoing power struggle I’m having with her. She won’t stay in her stroller for more than ten minutes- she won’t hold our hands when we’re walking in public and regularly runs off laughing in hysterics- she hits “Anna” aka “Mommy”… but then… but then there are those small moments… This morning I was working on my laptop while she ran room to room playing. All of a sudden I heard “Nee Nee Ohh” (This is an Italian song that we’ve always sang to her at bedtime or naptime) and I walked into her room. Sure enough, she had pushed the ottoman to the rocking chair, climbed up on the chair and was rocking… clutching her precious Orange. She was singing “Nee Nee Ohh” to her lovey toy and putting him to sleep. It was beautiful. Then she screamed for fifteen minutes because it was her naptime too. I’ll take those small moments at any chance I can get.
The whole time Hayden was sick, I prayed I could take her pain away- that it could be me going through her pain. Well, this week I have a stinky cold. I’ve been healthy for so long that I forgot how annoying it can be to get sick. My runny nose just drips and drips… very attractive, I think. My husband is very supportive. He keeps looking at me in disgust and saying that I better not get him sick. He’s very sympathetic. I don’t think anything is more horrible than getting a cold in the summer. It’s a total oxymoron. When Hayden was sick for those awful two weeks, I did everything in my power to comfort her. And even though this stupid cold is nothing like what my little diva went through, it’s amazing how the tables have turned. I just cuddled with her for an hour today while she watched her cartoons. (and yes, I am one of those Mom’s who let their kids watch TV and I’m not afraid to admit it.) Normally, during TV time, she’s running around, playing with her toys while I sit on the couch with my laptop in my lap doing work. Today, I think she knew that Mommy needed her. And I just sat there holding her and she comforted me. Funny how that works.
Anyway, we’ve been working really hard this past week with her “issue” with my name. She keeps calling me “Anna”. It’s not cool. I mean, it’s cute, but not cool. I’ve noticed she only does it when she wants my attention right away. So, if we’re playing, I’m “Mama” but if I’m on the phone, working on the computer, or doing something that doesn’t involve her, she calls “Anna” (in my Mother’s Italian accent, no less)- I’m sure she picked it up from my Mom. She listens to her call me that and that’s how she gets my attention. We have a routine now. When she calls me Anna, I point to myself and say “Mommy”- and then she points to herself and calls herself “Mommy”. Sigh. It’s a work in progress. She has no problem with “Daddy” though- or “Nonna and Nonno” (Italian for Grandma and Grandpa)…
I feel like my baby isn’t a baby anymore. My sister was visiting from California and she said “Hayden’s like a full blown kid”. And I realized that it was true. She’s a little person. She’s always had an attitude but now it’s in full blown diva mode. My Mom said to me “She’s becoming a little monster”- I’m sure it has nothing to do with the amount of spoiling that happens at Grandma’s house. Today we were at Stepping Stones Children’s Museum. She loves the water area. She refuses to wear the water smock that all the children wear. Today, I was determined to get it on her. She had on a nice outfit and I didn’t want it soaking wet. I grabbed her, strapped her into the smock while she squirmed and squealed- and she broke free and ran away. I smiled in my small triumph… until I watched her rip the smock off of her and literally throw in on the floor. She waddled her little self right over to the water and began to soak herself. I looked around, not one single other child had a problem with the smock.
This seems to be an ongoing power struggle I’m having with her. She won’t stay in her stroller for more than ten minutes- she won’t hold our hands when we’re walking in public and regularly runs off laughing in hysterics- she hits “Anna” aka “Mommy”… but then… but then there are those small moments… This morning I was working on my laptop while she ran room to room playing. All of a sudden I heard “Nee Nee Ohh” (This is an Italian song that we’ve always sang to her at bedtime or naptime) and I walked into her room. Sure enough, she had pushed the ottoman to the rocking chair, climbed up on the chair and was rocking… clutching her precious Orange. She was singing “Nee Nee Ohh” to her lovey toy and putting him to sleep. It was beautiful. Then she screamed for fifteen minutes because it was her naptime too. I’ll take those small moments at any chance I can get.
Hayden Gets Sick
Hayden Gets Sick.
So- I skipped a week of writing. Sorry about that. I wasn’t ready to write yet- It’s been really hard lately and life is finally getting back to normal. I want to give you the “abbreviated” version of a novel of things that have happened over the last three weeks.
Hayden’s not usually sick. I’ve been pretty lucky in the fact that she wasn’t the kid with the runny nose, she never had a hacking cough, and she’s never puked or had a really high fever. Three weeks ago she came down with Coxsackie. I believe I wrote about my horrible experience with my Pediatric group a couple weeks ago. When Hayden broke out in blisters, I was relieved that the worst was behind us. (for those of you not educated in annoying toddler viruses… and for the record, I had never heard of these viruses… Coxsackie is a common toddler virus that causes high fevers and then the kid breaks out in blisters all over their hands, feet, mouth… it’s not pretty)- She seemed better, but she couldn’t kick her fever. I quickly learned that the minute I skipped a dose of Motrin, she would become incredibly lethargic and spike a 104 fever. She would wake up with this fever too. It didn’t seem to bother her so much after the blisters, but it just wouldn’t break on its own. I gave it some time and didn’t miss a dose of Motrin.
I woke up on day seven of her 104 fever and called our pediatric group looking for guidance. I did not get a call back. This time, I hung up and called the administrative area of the practice and promptly fired them and requested all of Hayden’s records. I was told it would take up to two weeks. No exceptions. I filled out all the paperwork and began to call another pediatric group that had come highly recommended to me. They told me that they would not see a sick child without reviewing their entire medical records and they would need three days to do that once they received the paperwork. I hung up frustrated but not too concerned because Hayden looked okay, just couldn’t shake the fever.
That night I went to pick her up from my Mom’s house (she watches Hayden full time while I work)- and my Mom looked concerned. She hadn’t eaten and was acting very lethargic. We were out of Motrin. I quickly left to run and get some (well, the generic kind… you guys know what I mean). When I came home she has half passed out on my Mom’s lap. I took her temp. 104.8. She had a glazed expression and I was scared. So were my Mom and Dad. Great, I thought. I fired my pediatrician today. I called my cousin and asked her about this place called Firefly in Stamford. It’s a pediatric after hours emergency center. It was my only choice and I was happy to have a place to take her. After two hours waiting, we saw the doctor. I explained to him that we were currently in between pediatricians… At this point she was on day eight of over 104 fever- She had Coxsackie and all the blisters were healing and I didn’t know what to do anymore. She had gone through one and a half bottles of Motrin and one bottle of Tylenol in the last eight days. He examined her, tested her for strep (negative) and finally said that he needed to order blood work. We were sent on our way with a laundry list of things the blood work would test for.
The next morning was the worst morning of my life. She woke up screaming. Soaking wet in sweat. I couldn’t calm her down. She wouldn’t let me hold her. She kept throwing herself on the ground, banging her head, screaming. Her fever was sky high and I didn’t know what to do. I tried to console her- nothing work. After an hour of this, she finally passed out. I grabbed the phone, called my Mom and told her I needed her right away (Thank God for my Mom. Really.) Next call, the new pediatrician again. This time I begged the lady on the phone for someone to see my baby. Finally, she said to me, that it was not office policy, they would not see her and that the worst thing I could have done for my child was to leave a practice during a serious illness. That’s all I needed to hear. I burst into tears… on the phone with this stranger. She changed her tone to a nicer one but stood her ground. I just hung up. I knew I would never bring Hayden there. I sat on the floor and cried. I think it was the pent up anxiety I had been dealing with all week. I had a very sick little girl, had fired my incompetent, non-caring pediatric group and had no one to turn to except a doctor at an ER center who kept talking about his love of hockey. Screw it, I thought. He’s all I have. My Mom showed up during my break down and ordered me to go wash my face, put on some make up and get ready. We had to go get blood work for the baby. And I listened. That’s all I needed to get myself back on track. We loaded her up in the car and headed to the Tully Center in Stamford for her blood work. While we were waiting, Realtor Anna came alive. (Realtor Anna is my no-nonsense business persona who doesn’t take no for an answer and gets the job done quickly and correctly). This time, I called my old pediatric office and asked to speak to the office manager. She again told me that paperwork would not be ready for 8-14 days. This time I told her that she would have them ready, my daughter was sick and I was going to show up and get them. I could either a. make copies of the file myself or b. show up at the office with my attorney. Their choice. This time she told me she would release the vaccinations and most recent well check up. Deal I said. Then I promptly sent my husband to go pick them up. I wasn’t going to show my face there after that!
Finally, it was Hayden’s turn at the Tully Center- She was too dehydrated and they couldn’t get any blood. She was screaming bloody murder. They sent us to Stamford Hospital so they could try there to get the blood. On the drive over I took a call from my Aunt. She told me that I should go where I went growing up. Stamford Pediatric. She named her favorite doctor and out of sheer desperation, I called. Miraculously, they would happily take her first thing the next day. The doctor I requested wasn’t available but a female doctor was. I took it. Stamford Hospital was able to draw the blood- Thank God.
Paul and I took her in and immediately liked how warm the staff was. The nurse was sweet and the doctor was great. She spent the time to listen to our story. She asked a lot of questions about Hayden and her background. Even Hayden liked her- and Hayden is known not to like doctors (Remember? She was called a “wild child” at her old practice)- She immediately said we needed to insert a catheter to get a clean urine reading. It was horrible and Hayden wasn’t happy, but we were able to rule out a UTI on the spot. She sent us to Advanced Radiation Center and performed chest x-rays. Within two hours, we knew her chest was clear. She ordered more blood work and luckily they could do the tests with the blood they had already drawn. She called me later that night to check on Hayden (and me, I think). She told me that the blood work looked okay so far. She would call me in a day or two when the rest of results were in. The next morning, Hayden was in a much better mood but her whole body was covered in a funky rash. Roseola. The kid had back to back viruses. I took pictures to show the doctor and when she called, I enthusiastically told her that her fever had finally broken and that she had gotten the rash. She confirmed Roseola. Then she paused. One more thing- some bad news… Hayden had Lyme disease. What?! I was upset but relieved that there was a reason to all of this sickness and madness. We started her right away on antibiotics, twice a day. She hated it. We kept forcing it into her and she was doing much better. On Monday, the phone rang again. It was our new doctor. Oops. It was a false positive, Hayden did not have Lyme disease and we needed to immediately discontinue her antibiotics. Double WHAT?! The last two days have been back to normal. She’s eating like a champ. No fevers. And no real explanation of what happened to our kid. I’m just relieved to have my normally cranky diva back. I guess this wasn’t so abbreviated, was it?
Oh, and now her toes and fingers are peeling. Doctor says not related, but you can bet a million bucks I have Googled and WebMD’ed everything I could. Sigh. Blah.
So- I skipped a week of writing. Sorry about that. I wasn’t ready to write yet- It’s been really hard lately and life is finally getting back to normal. I want to give you the “abbreviated” version of a novel of things that have happened over the last three weeks.
Hayden’s not usually sick. I’ve been pretty lucky in the fact that she wasn’t the kid with the runny nose, she never had a hacking cough, and she’s never puked or had a really high fever. Three weeks ago she came down with Coxsackie. I believe I wrote about my horrible experience with my Pediatric group a couple weeks ago. When Hayden broke out in blisters, I was relieved that the worst was behind us. (for those of you not educated in annoying toddler viruses… and for the record, I had never heard of these viruses… Coxsackie is a common toddler virus that causes high fevers and then the kid breaks out in blisters all over their hands, feet, mouth… it’s not pretty)- She seemed better, but she couldn’t kick her fever. I quickly learned that the minute I skipped a dose of Motrin, she would become incredibly lethargic and spike a 104 fever. She would wake up with this fever too. It didn’t seem to bother her so much after the blisters, but it just wouldn’t break on its own. I gave it some time and didn’t miss a dose of Motrin.
I woke up on day seven of her 104 fever and called our pediatric group looking for guidance. I did not get a call back. This time, I hung up and called the administrative area of the practice and promptly fired them and requested all of Hayden’s records. I was told it would take up to two weeks. No exceptions. I filled out all the paperwork and began to call another pediatric group that had come highly recommended to me. They told me that they would not see a sick child without reviewing their entire medical records and they would need three days to do that once they received the paperwork. I hung up frustrated but not too concerned because Hayden looked okay, just couldn’t shake the fever.
That night I went to pick her up from my Mom’s house (she watches Hayden full time while I work)- and my Mom looked concerned. She hadn’t eaten and was acting very lethargic. We were out of Motrin. I quickly left to run and get some (well, the generic kind… you guys know what I mean). When I came home she has half passed out on my Mom’s lap. I took her temp. 104.8. She had a glazed expression and I was scared. So were my Mom and Dad. Great, I thought. I fired my pediatrician today. I called my cousin and asked her about this place called Firefly in Stamford. It’s a pediatric after hours emergency center. It was my only choice and I was happy to have a place to take her. After two hours waiting, we saw the doctor. I explained to him that we were currently in between pediatricians… At this point she was on day eight of over 104 fever- She had Coxsackie and all the blisters were healing and I didn’t know what to do anymore. She had gone through one and a half bottles of Motrin and one bottle of Tylenol in the last eight days. He examined her, tested her for strep (negative) and finally said that he needed to order blood work. We were sent on our way with a laundry list of things the blood work would test for.
The next morning was the worst morning of my life. She woke up screaming. Soaking wet in sweat. I couldn’t calm her down. She wouldn’t let me hold her. She kept throwing herself on the ground, banging her head, screaming. Her fever was sky high and I didn’t know what to do. I tried to console her- nothing work. After an hour of this, she finally passed out. I grabbed the phone, called my Mom and told her I needed her right away (Thank God for my Mom. Really.) Next call, the new pediatrician again. This time I begged the lady on the phone for someone to see my baby. Finally, she said to me, that it was not office policy, they would not see her and that the worst thing I could have done for my child was to leave a practice during a serious illness. That’s all I needed to hear. I burst into tears… on the phone with this stranger. She changed her tone to a nicer one but stood her ground. I just hung up. I knew I would never bring Hayden there. I sat on the floor and cried. I think it was the pent up anxiety I had been dealing with all week. I had a very sick little girl, had fired my incompetent, non-caring pediatric group and had no one to turn to except a doctor at an ER center who kept talking about his love of hockey. Screw it, I thought. He’s all I have. My Mom showed up during my break down and ordered me to go wash my face, put on some make up and get ready. We had to go get blood work for the baby. And I listened. That’s all I needed to get myself back on track. We loaded her up in the car and headed to the Tully Center in Stamford for her blood work. While we were waiting, Realtor Anna came alive. (Realtor Anna is my no-nonsense business persona who doesn’t take no for an answer and gets the job done quickly and correctly). This time, I called my old pediatric office and asked to speak to the office manager. She again told me that paperwork would not be ready for 8-14 days. This time I told her that she would have them ready, my daughter was sick and I was going to show up and get them. I could either a. make copies of the file myself or b. show up at the office with my attorney. Their choice. This time she told me she would release the vaccinations and most recent well check up. Deal I said. Then I promptly sent my husband to go pick them up. I wasn’t going to show my face there after that!
Finally, it was Hayden’s turn at the Tully Center- She was too dehydrated and they couldn’t get any blood. She was screaming bloody murder. They sent us to Stamford Hospital so they could try there to get the blood. On the drive over I took a call from my Aunt. She told me that I should go where I went growing up. Stamford Pediatric. She named her favorite doctor and out of sheer desperation, I called. Miraculously, they would happily take her first thing the next day. The doctor I requested wasn’t available but a female doctor was. I took it. Stamford Hospital was able to draw the blood- Thank God.
Paul and I took her in and immediately liked how warm the staff was. The nurse was sweet and the doctor was great. She spent the time to listen to our story. She asked a lot of questions about Hayden and her background. Even Hayden liked her- and Hayden is known not to like doctors (Remember? She was called a “wild child” at her old practice)- She immediately said we needed to insert a catheter to get a clean urine reading. It was horrible and Hayden wasn’t happy, but we were able to rule out a UTI on the spot. She sent us to Advanced Radiation Center and performed chest x-rays. Within two hours, we knew her chest was clear. She ordered more blood work and luckily they could do the tests with the blood they had already drawn. She called me later that night to check on Hayden (and me, I think). She told me that the blood work looked okay so far. She would call me in a day or two when the rest of results were in. The next morning, Hayden was in a much better mood but her whole body was covered in a funky rash. Roseola. The kid had back to back viruses. I took pictures to show the doctor and when she called, I enthusiastically told her that her fever had finally broken and that she had gotten the rash. She confirmed Roseola. Then she paused. One more thing- some bad news… Hayden had Lyme disease. What?! I was upset but relieved that there was a reason to all of this sickness and madness. We started her right away on antibiotics, twice a day. She hated it. We kept forcing it into her and she was doing much better. On Monday, the phone rang again. It was our new doctor. Oops. It was a false positive, Hayden did not have Lyme disease and we needed to immediately discontinue her antibiotics. Double WHAT?! The last two days have been back to normal. She’s eating like a champ. No fevers. And no real explanation of what happened to our kid. I’m just relieved to have my normally cranky diva back. I guess this wasn’t so abbreviated, was it?
Oh, and now her toes and fingers are peeling. Doctor says not related, but you can bet a million bucks I have Googled and WebMD’ed everything I could. Sigh. Blah.
Vent
Vent
Kids get sick. I get that. Actually, I’m pretty open to the idea that kids need germs to build immune systems. I’m not crazy with the Purell (especially since Hayden ate it and I had to call Poison Control) and I have no problem having my little girl run free and touch whatever she wants… within reason. I’ve been pretty lucky that she hasn’t gotten that many colds or any flu’s- ear infections… etc. This week all of that changed.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever vented before about our pediatricians office. I mean, it’s an awesome place. It’s big, has an emergency center, and tons of state of the art equipment. What it doesn’t seem to have is a lot of bedside manner. Something this first time Mommy really needed to help get through Hayden’s colic spell as a baby. I’ve had problems with the practice from the start. It felt a bit cold, kind of like an institution focused on getting the most clients and collecting the most money more than a place to help keep your baby healthy. I had been pondering leaving since Hayden was a month old. I liked my doctor though. And she knew Hayden from the day she was born. That meant a lot to me. So, I stuck it out. One time, Hayden had an allergic reaction to her vaccine and I called the afterhour’s line to see what I should do. As I sat in worry for an hour waiting for a call back, I kicked myself for not noticing the large blisters on her legs sooner. Finally the phone rang and I jumped to get it. The advice? Take her in to the office tomorrow to see a doctor or if I’m really worried take her to the Emergency Room at our local hospital. She didn’t ask how old my daughter was, no question about what vaccine it was, nothing. Imagine my surprise when I received a bill for $22 for that advice. Oh, and after the call I did the research. It’s a reaction some children have when two of the vaccines are combined. It’s common and I had no reason to worry. I was told to go to the ER.
Anyway, last week we received a letter from the practice stating that my doctor was leaving. I was initially upset that my dream of Hayden’s doctor knowing her from the day of her birth was about to disappear, but realized that this was my chance to finally go elsewhere and pick a place that was a little warmer. I sent an e-mail to friends asking for suggestions and had a few lined up to call.
Then, Hayden got sick. I mean, really sick. She passed out and her face was so hot I thought she would burn my hand. I figured maybe it was more molars but had a feeling this was different. She wouldn’t eat, couldn’t drink and was incredibly lethargic. I tried to give her some Motrin (my secret stash that I was keeping for this kind of emergency- no way I was going generic, recall or no-recall) and she started vomiting. Lots of vomit. More than I vomit when I’m sick. I freaked. I haven’t seen her throw up like this, well, ever. My sister and I jumped in my car and I rushed to the pediatrician office. I didn’t know where to go so of course, I went where I knew. I was told that walk-ins were running about an hour. We took our seat in the corner while Hayden bawled her eyes out. In their defense, they did give me a bucket for her to puke in. I guess the screaming and wailing was too much for them because they called our name within 30 minutes. Hayden continued to scream while they weighed her and I clutched her while they took her temperature. 103.3- Imagine what it was before I gave her the Motrin. Doctor came in and examined her for what seemed like forever. She didn’t have strep throat, but had while ulcers all over the inside of her mouth. Finally, Hayden passed out in sheer exhaustion. I was getting nervous because she never falls asleep in my arms. Never. I was told to bring her back tomorrow. We left, two hours later. No answers.
As told, I returned the next morning with a little girl who was still miserable and still had a high fever. We saw a second doctor who simply said it was just a virus. Had to keep her hydrated, it had to run its course. We left and I had a feeling that there was more to this. Could it be possible that my little diva just had a little virus? For the love of God, she had a fever over 103 for almost 72 hours at that point. So, I turned to the only person I really trust when I need information quickly and accurately. Google. Sometimes I think I should send my co-pays to WebMd and Google instead of the pediatricians. After an hour of reading, I knew that Hayden had hand, foot and mouth disease, aka Coxsackie. I prepared myself and of course, yesterday blisters started showing up all over her body, around her mouth, on her tush, on her hands and of course, on the soles of her feet.
All I want to know is how do you see two different doctors who thoroughly examine your child and both claim it’s a simple virus and both are wrong? I mean, yes, coxsackie is virus but can you imagine the scare I would have had if I didn’t research and I went to pick her up out of her crib covered in blisters and I didn’t know why?!
So, that’s my vent. Here’s the problem- If I leave the practice, I leave all the amazing technology they have available, the convenience of location and the comfort of knowing what I’m involved in… even if not always good. I’m afraid that if I go to a smaller practice it may be the same thing… without the technology. Oh, and since I’m crazy, I only want a female pediatrician for my daughter because I want her to grow up knowing she can be anything she wants to be- even a doctor. (and I had a male pediatrician growing up and I always hated when he examined me. Not that he was creepy or anything, just felt weird as a little girl)-
It’s really always something, isn’t it?
Kids get sick. I get that. Actually, I’m pretty open to the idea that kids need germs to build immune systems. I’m not crazy with the Purell (especially since Hayden ate it and I had to call Poison Control) and I have no problem having my little girl run free and touch whatever she wants… within reason. I’ve been pretty lucky that she hasn’t gotten that many colds or any flu’s- ear infections… etc. This week all of that changed.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever vented before about our pediatricians office. I mean, it’s an awesome place. It’s big, has an emergency center, and tons of state of the art equipment. What it doesn’t seem to have is a lot of bedside manner. Something this first time Mommy really needed to help get through Hayden’s colic spell as a baby. I’ve had problems with the practice from the start. It felt a bit cold, kind of like an institution focused on getting the most clients and collecting the most money more than a place to help keep your baby healthy. I had been pondering leaving since Hayden was a month old. I liked my doctor though. And she knew Hayden from the day she was born. That meant a lot to me. So, I stuck it out. One time, Hayden had an allergic reaction to her vaccine and I called the afterhour’s line to see what I should do. As I sat in worry for an hour waiting for a call back, I kicked myself for not noticing the large blisters on her legs sooner. Finally the phone rang and I jumped to get it. The advice? Take her in to the office tomorrow to see a doctor or if I’m really worried take her to the Emergency Room at our local hospital. She didn’t ask how old my daughter was, no question about what vaccine it was, nothing. Imagine my surprise when I received a bill for $22 for that advice. Oh, and after the call I did the research. It’s a reaction some children have when two of the vaccines are combined. It’s common and I had no reason to worry. I was told to go to the ER.
Anyway, last week we received a letter from the practice stating that my doctor was leaving. I was initially upset that my dream of Hayden’s doctor knowing her from the day of her birth was about to disappear, but realized that this was my chance to finally go elsewhere and pick a place that was a little warmer. I sent an e-mail to friends asking for suggestions and had a few lined up to call.
Then, Hayden got sick. I mean, really sick. She passed out and her face was so hot I thought she would burn my hand. I figured maybe it was more molars but had a feeling this was different. She wouldn’t eat, couldn’t drink and was incredibly lethargic. I tried to give her some Motrin (my secret stash that I was keeping for this kind of emergency- no way I was going generic, recall or no-recall) and she started vomiting. Lots of vomit. More than I vomit when I’m sick. I freaked. I haven’t seen her throw up like this, well, ever. My sister and I jumped in my car and I rushed to the pediatrician office. I didn’t know where to go so of course, I went where I knew. I was told that walk-ins were running about an hour. We took our seat in the corner while Hayden bawled her eyes out. In their defense, they did give me a bucket for her to puke in. I guess the screaming and wailing was too much for them because they called our name within 30 minutes. Hayden continued to scream while they weighed her and I clutched her while they took her temperature. 103.3- Imagine what it was before I gave her the Motrin. Doctor came in and examined her for what seemed like forever. She didn’t have strep throat, but had while ulcers all over the inside of her mouth. Finally, Hayden passed out in sheer exhaustion. I was getting nervous because she never falls asleep in my arms. Never. I was told to bring her back tomorrow. We left, two hours later. No answers.
As told, I returned the next morning with a little girl who was still miserable and still had a high fever. We saw a second doctor who simply said it was just a virus. Had to keep her hydrated, it had to run its course. We left and I had a feeling that there was more to this. Could it be possible that my little diva just had a little virus? For the love of God, she had a fever over 103 for almost 72 hours at that point. So, I turned to the only person I really trust when I need information quickly and accurately. Google. Sometimes I think I should send my co-pays to WebMd and Google instead of the pediatricians. After an hour of reading, I knew that Hayden had hand, foot and mouth disease, aka Coxsackie. I prepared myself and of course, yesterday blisters started showing up all over her body, around her mouth, on her tush, on her hands and of course, on the soles of her feet.
All I want to know is how do you see two different doctors who thoroughly examine your child and both claim it’s a simple virus and both are wrong? I mean, yes, coxsackie is virus but can you imagine the scare I would have had if I didn’t research and I went to pick her up out of her crib covered in blisters and I didn’t know why?!
So, that’s my vent. Here’s the problem- If I leave the practice, I leave all the amazing technology they have available, the convenience of location and the comfort of knowing what I’m involved in… even if not always good. I’m afraid that if I go to a smaller practice it may be the same thing… without the technology. Oh, and since I’m crazy, I only want a female pediatrician for my daughter because I want her to grow up knowing she can be anything she wants to be- even a doctor. (and I had a male pediatrician growing up and I always hated when he examined me. Not that he was creepy or anything, just felt weird as a little girl)-
It’s really always something, isn’t it?
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